How to Cope When You’re Grieving During the Holidays

Despite what the songs and commercials say, the holidays aren’t always “the most wonderful time of the year.” For many, this season brings a mix of emotions such as joy and nostalgia alongside sadness, stress, and loneliness. If you’re grieving the loss of someone you love, the holidays can feel especially painful.

Grief doesn’t follow a calendar. Whether your loss happened recently or years ago, reminders and traditions can bring up deep emotions. At New Chapter Therapy, I know that navigating this season with grief takes courage and care. Here are a few gentle ways to support your heart through the holidays.

Be Gentle With Yourself

Grief is not something to fix or overcome; it’s something to move through, slowly and compassionately. During the holidays, memories and traditions can trigger waves of sadness or longing. You might notice moments of peace followed by unexpected grief, and that’s normal.

Permit yourself to feel whatever comes up. There’s no right or wrong way to grieve, and there’s no timeline for how long it “should” take. If certain gatherings or activities feel too painful, it’s okay to step back. If you need more rest or quiet time, take it.

Being gentle with yourself means recognizing that your needs may change from day to day. Honoring those needs is not selfish; it’s part of healing.

Revisit or Redefine Traditions

Holiday traditions can be comforting or painful, sometimes both at once. You might find comfort in keeping certain rituals alive to honor your loved one. Lighting a candle, sharing stories, or preparing a favorite meal can serve as meaningful reminders of connection and love.

Other traditions may feel too difficult right now, and that’s okay. You can adapt or create new ones that reflect your current season of life. Maybe you spend the day volunteering, travel somewhere peaceful, or hold a small gathering that feels more manageable.

You don’t have to force old routines to make others comfortable. Choose what feels healing for you, even if it means doing things differently this year.

You’re Allowed to Say No

The holidays often come with social pressure to say yes to every invitation and event. But grief requires emotional energy, and it’s important to protect yours.

If an event feels overwhelming or emotionally unsafe, it’s okay to decline. You might say, “Thank you for including me, but I’m not up for that this year.” Setting boundaries allows you to conserve energy for what truly matters, moments that feel meaningful, restorative, or supportive.

Saying no isn’t about shutting others out; it’s about caring for yourself in a season that already demands so much.

Nurture Your Physical and Emotional Health

Grief takes a toll on both mind and body. During the holidays, it’s easy to slip into routines of overindulgence, numbing, or exhaustion. While comfort foods and distractions can offer temporary relief, they often leave us feeling drained.

Try to maintain a gentle structure where you can: eat nourishing meals, move your body, and get enough rest. Even small, consistent routines can bring a sense of stability when everything else feels unpredictable.

Avoid judging yourself if you’re struggling to stay balanced. Focus on small, sustainable acts of care. A walk outside, a warm bath, or a quiet evening unplugged from technology can help you feel more grounded.

Find Comfort in Giving

Sometimes, extending kindness to others can soften the edges of grief. Acts of giving, whether volunteering, donating to a meaningful cause, or supporting someone else in need, can create a sense of purpose and connection.

You might choose to honor your loved one by contributing to a charity they cared about or sharing their favorite tradition with others. Giving doesn’t erase your pain, but it can bring moments of warmth and remind you that compassion still exists both in you and around you.

Just be mindful of your limits. Give from a place of care, not depletion.

Allow Support: You Don’t Have to Carry Grief Alone

Grieving during the holidays can feel isolating, but you’re not alone in this. Sharing your feelings with a trusted friend, support group, or therapist can provide relief and perspective.

Final Thoughts

The holidays can bring both joy and sorrow, laughter and longing. Grief changes the way you experience this time of year, and that’s okay. You are allowed to grieve and still find comfort in small, tender moments of light.

Remember that healing is not a straight path; it’s a continual process of remembering, feeling, and rebuilding. Let this season be less about perfection and more about presence with yourself, with your memories, and with the love that still connects you to who or what you’ve lost.

At New Chapter Therapy, I believe that healing begins with compassion. May you move through this holiday season with gentleness, grace, and the steady reminder that your feelings, all of them, are welcome here.

What NCT is Posting on Instagram

The holidays can bring both warmth and heartache. 💛

If you’re grieving this season, it’s okay to step gently, to take space, set boundaries, and find small moments of comfort in the midst of pain.

Grief doesn’t mean you’ve stopped loving; it means your love is learning to live in a new way. 🌿

Read more on our blog, Turning the Page, at New Chapter Therapy for gentle ways to navigate grief and healing during the holidays. (Link in bio)

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